Conversations with Myself and Thoughts About Death

I am sure that you have probably already realized that I am not going to succeed in posting on here every single day, and what you may not know is that I am still trying to figure out if I am fine with this fact. To be honest, I am 90% of the way there – I know that posting quality content is way more important than quantity. Or at least that’s the important part to me, and I am the one who has to be satisfied with the whole website, and blogging process. I’m also the one who has to be satisfied with how this website, being online in general, affects my life. This means that I need to decide if I want to continue maintaining profiles on every social media platform; if I want to stress over posting every single day on a blogging platform – and if I want to make every single one of those post available to the public; if I want to delve into such topics as politics, religion, ethics, etc. that I have been avoiding thus far; or if I want to continue to stick to subjects and topics that don’t allow you the reader to truly get to know me. I also must admit that by avoiding certain topics that it makes me seem superficial, vain, and maybe just a bit self-absorbed. I would hope that those who know me offline would tell you that none of those things are true…although I can be a bit absent-minded and daydream a bit too much.

The truth of the matter is that all of this thinking is making me wonder about the impact that I’ll leave on the world if I’ll even leave one. I don’t have any children, living ones that is. Then I was searching for a blog post on my writing prompt app and I came across the one below…it seemed to fit the theme/topic that was lurking in the back of my mind. So since this prompt was the catalyst for my writing this post, here it is and here is what I wrote. Like last time, I would love to read yours – so please be sure to let me know via Twitter using the #WritingPrompt2 so I can read and comment on your post. Edit: I would like to point out that this is a complete work of fiction, and that I am using these writing prompts in a way to hopefully help me with my larger writing projects such as my numerous WIP.

Writing Prompt #2:

You find out that you will die in five years or less. How did you find this out? What would you do in those five years?

Tomorrow it will have been four years, six months, and thirteen days since the doctor informed me of my pending death. How do I know this, you may ask? Like many of us, I love to do countdowns – birthdays, holidays, Weddings, etc. and I figured that the day of your death should be celebrated since you are hopefully going to a better place. I am writing this to tell you more about how I received the news of my death, about what I have been doing the past four-plus years, and about how I plan to spend these last few months, days. I am also writing in the hope that my words will inspire you to live a better life, a life that makes you proud of the legacy that you leave.

I always knew that the females in my family had a tendency to die before they turned 40 – it’s the main reason that we all seemed to be teen parents, or if not teen parents, early 20s…none of us want to leave a small child without a mother. I know what you’re thinking, the thought of any child – regardless of age, losing their mother is both a great loss and a tragedy. My family would definitely agree with this – and we would love to figure out a way for this to never happen to one of our children again. When I was born, almost thirty-five years ago, my parents had done everything they could to ensure that I would be the one to break the family curse, to be the one who figured out a solution to what causes all of the females to die at the age of thirty-five.

Before we go any further, you need a bit more information – if you are a female in my family, you die at thirty-five. It doesn’t matter if you are transgender, adopted, etc. – you will die at thirty-five. It’s the main reason that we refuse to marry the fathers of our children – even though we do live with them so that our children have a stable home environment. We also ask that after we die – because they know from the beginning that we will, that they get married and find a mother for our children. Most of us have been very lucky in that we get to meet the woman who’ll be the future mother of our children, that we become friends with them, and that they understand the importance of keeping our memories alive for the children. The only other request that we make is that the new mother is over the age of thirty-five…it seems that is the magic number.

Why thirty-five, you are probably wondering? I wondered the same as I was growing up, and I wasn’t told until I turned eighteen. It seems that a male ancestor in the 1500s killed his wife, who was thirty-five because he wanted to marry a younger woman and have more children. As she died, she told him that no female child that held his name would live past the age of thirty-five. The ironic part is that he managed to live long enough to see that their two young daughters died at thirty-five, which was when he set the guidelines for us, that I am not allowed to share with the public.

Anyhow, I told you that I would tell you about what I have been doing and about how I plan to spend my remaining months. Oddly, they go together – I have always had an interest in the occult and how it can have an effect on the world, on the human body and I felt that the family curse had to do something with dabbling in the occult. Luckily, my parents had the money to indulge my curiosity and to pay for me to go to the best schools – ones that focused on the occult, modern medicine, and alternative medicine. I have spent the past ten years of my life working on a way to break the curse, to ensure that no other female died from this. I was also lucky enough to have plenty of willing test-subjects, and before you say that I shouldn’t have been experimenting on actual human beings – but you also aren’t facing the same situation and when you do, you can tell me if you’d approach it in the same way. Oh, wait…I’m not going to be around. For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, I am going to spend my remaining months the same way – and if I happen to find a solution, I’ll ask Jessica to tell you what happened.

Like many of you, I am waiting anxiously to hear if the curse was broken and I will be sure to update you on any news. In the future, you will get to read about the current product that my dog Colby is adoring, a cookbook that I am only slightly obsessed with, a wishlist on what I require to write, and if y’all want an update on this particular writing prompt/story. But right now, I am going to go finish downloading CC for The Sims and have a bowl of cereal for lunch while I update The Sims. I hope that y’all have a wonderful, warm day – it snowed here.

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2 thoughts on “Conversations with Myself and Thoughts About Death

  1. Jamie

    Hey Jessica, I actually really liked this prompt idea of yours, and I also liked the story. It was very well written, in my honest opinion. Sometimes, I feel that I may need a writing prompt app as well. What are some good ones that you’d recommend?

    Also, death is a very touchy subject for most. While for me, I have talked about it with Tristan (believe it or not), and it doesn’t scare me in the slightest. I do think back to what I have done that others could get something out of or from, and the answer? Art, Digital Art, and my friendship. So, my being here alive and well at the moment isn’t a complete waste of time, like I once thought in life.

    1. j
      jessica

      I get them from here: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=writing.prompts and use a random number generator to pick which one to do. :)

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