At the time I am writing this post, it has been exactly 442 days, or 1 year 2 months 16 days, since I last posted and honestly, that is not acceptable. I will admit I had a very good reason or two for not wanting to come on here and pretend everything was going well…the least of them being that doing so would’ve been a complete lie. I have made an effort since I originally began blogging back in January 2000-almost twenty years ago, to always be completely honest with you, my visitors, and I will continue to be honest. Even if it means that I do not post as often as I can – because I do not want to fake being happy, being content with my life. All of us experience enough of that online.
For those who are curious, I sadly do not have any of my blog posts from the early 2000s – the earliest ones are from 2009 on my very first top-level domain, nouveau-prep.net. It was the first time that I used WordPress and the version not attached to WordPress.com. Prior to this, I had run my sites using a combination of Geocities or Angelfire, Xanga or LiveJournal. I didn’t know that I was supposed to do backups of my site and its contents…but that doesn’t mean that I always remember to do so. Luckily, sites like Archive.org exists – so I can go back and read my old blog posts, and in the future, perhaps repost them with updates. Needless to say, one tends to learn a lot when they have been doing something for twenty years. However, I will also admit that there are a lot of things that I still do not know, that I still haven’t achieved when it comes to blogging, social media, and the like.
But anyway, all of that is for a future post, and I am going to explain my prolonged absence from my site, from posting blog entries. Those of you who follow me on social media (links in the sidebar to the left) will know that I have recently lost three people who were very important to me. First was my Mom, my best friend, in June 2018 due to complications from diabetes. Then in December 2019, shortly before Christmas, I lost someone who was like a Grandpa to me due to a combination of a brain aneurysm and a house fire. The most recent loss occurred on the 16th when I lost someone who was like a Grandma to me. She died from a broken heart, as it was her husband who died shortly before Christmas. So as you can imagine, I have been wavering between being in tears and wanting to scream in anger, frustration. I have also been constantly questioning God on why he has decided to take away the majority of my offline support system. I have yet to receive an answer, but so far, I am surviving.
The next thing that has recently happened is I am pretty sure that my dog, Colby, has had a minor stroke. He seems to be recovering – he’s eating and he is just a little off-balance. He also has this little tilt to his head, which honestly just makes him look even more adorable. Before any of you go to the comment section to complain, and say that I am neglecting Colby by not taking him to the vet. I would like to remind you that there are two treatments – both of which depend on whether or not he is eating. There is also the fact that I am currently a few months behind on my rent – so any money that I currently receive goes towards my rent so Colby and I aren’t homeless. Plus, I would like to add that at the time I was writing this, Colby is laying on his Avengers beanbag couch sleeping.
In less depressing news, I am in the process of applying for a job at a local Senior Center. The person who told me about the job is confident that I will get a job there…as for me, I wish I could say the same. I have so much trouble filling out job applications-mainly because my work history is so sporadic and the idea of working with people that I don’t know triggers my social anxiety. I am not saying that I dislike people…I just prefer them in one of two ways offline – either one on one or in a situation where no one notices who is really there like a sporting event. Of course, both these situations also have their own problems that trigger my anxiety but that is for another day, another post.
I am beginning to realize how much I have missed blogging, how much I missed the process of writing a new post, but I will have to write about my blogging process in the future. This leads me to the questions for this post. It’s time for me to go warm up some leftovers.
- Do you have any pets? Names/Ages/Types.
- Have you ever lost anyone close to you? How did you deal with the grief?
- What is one thing that made you happy in 2019?
Be sure to subscribe – because then you’ll know when I post. I will add that I am going to attempt to post more regularly, to develop a schedule of some sort. However, it will take some time for me to set it up completely.